Remembering Papa

To the man who showed me the true meaning of unconditional love and support --my father.

Tomorrow will be my father's 6th year death anniversary. I know I have already moved on but being such a Papa's girl , I can't help but miss him at times.

Papa (as we fondly call him) was what you can call the "groovy" kind of father. He was not strict and he allowed us to go on gimmicks even when we were still in high school as long as he would be the one to fetch us or any of our friends' parents. He did not dictate things to us like what course to take in college, what clothes to wear, the type of friends we should hang out with, etc. He allowed us to decide for ourselves and he never failed to support us in every decisions that we made. He has a great sense of humor and he was always the life of the party whenever we attend social functions and family reunions. Honestly, our family gatherings were not as lively as before when Papa was still around. He taught me and my siblings the basics of Ballroom Dancing:) Even our househelpers got a free Ballroom Dancing lessons from the Dance Instructors he hired. He would always ask me to dance with him even if I just woke up and practice the new steps he learned from his Ballroom Dancing class. Oh I really miss dancing with him:( It used to be a part of my morning routine:( He was also into sports like basketball, billiards, table tennis, etc.

He was a great cook and he really has a passion for food (which he passed on to us, his kids). We always look forward to Sunday lunches and dinners when he would cook a hearty and delicious meal for us. On days that he was not in the mood to cook, we would eat out and try the different restaurants in the Metropolis. Because of him I learned to appreciate all types of food may it be Oriental, European, American, etc. He also taught me to eat not only in fine dining restaurants and hotels but to carinderias and turo-turo too;)

He was also a very understanding and loving father. He never got mad at me when I was starting to drive...back then I had an average of 2 accidents in a week. He even comforted me when I almost want to give up on driving by telling me that accidents are part of it and that you cannot call yourself a driver if you never encountered one. He was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on when I got so stressed out and saturated with my first job. He gave me pieces of advice on how to deal with my job and when he saw in my eyes that I was really desperate and unhappy, he offered me a position in our family business. He also knew the resentment I felt for my mother. He never tolerated it (even though they also had issues as a married couple) and always asked me to try to reach out and understand Mama.

He was also very spiritual. He brought me to Quiapo, Baclaran, Sta. Clara, Sacred Heart on a weekly basis to attend novenas and masses. Whenever we go to these churches, his suki for Sampaguita (this is for every church) will readily hand a prepared bunch for us. I later found out that Papa was assisting the kids of his suki/s with their education. He did this in secret, not even my mom knew about this. I learned the value of prayer and having a deeper relationship with our Creator through his example.

Papa may not be perfect in all aspects but he was everything to me. I never had a boyfriend when he was still alive probably because I felt that his companionship was more than enough. Would you believe that even if he already passed away, he still guided me in choosing the right guy for me:) When my fiance was still courting me, I went to Papa's grave and prayed to him. I asked him if he thinks Kokoy is the one for me. That same night, I had a dream. I dreamt that Papa and I were dancing and while we were in the midst of it, he gave my hand to a guy and told me to dance with him. That guy was Kokoy. I thanked God because I realized that Papa was still watching over me and that he's still willing to help us out in anyway he can.

The day before he died, we spent the whole day together...and it was what others would refer to as "one sweet day". I really miss him and his never-ending stories. I miss dancing with him. I miss his laughter, jokes and antics. I even miss arguing with him. I miss just being with him. As I walk down the aisle on my upcoming wedding, I would reserve a slot for Papa. No one would bring me to the altar for no one can take Papa's place in my heart. I know in spirit he would be there to witness this very important event in my life.

Papa,I assure you that my love for you never fades. I may love another guy now (my fiance of course) but you will always be my second love with God as my first.

I hope you've finally found your peace Papa. Despite what other people say, you're still the best father anyone could ever have.