life is a contradiction

PREGNANCY BLUES

sometimes you are at your lowest when you are supposed to be in the highest point of your life. my pregnancy was suuposed to be one of the highest points in my life. i am actually excited with the fact that i'm going to carry my own bundle of joy in a few months time but i tend to worry about my situation & about my baby. for one, i am experiencing severe stomach pains which my doctor said was normal... whenever i go to my doctor for check-up, i am losing weight & the most terrible situation i was in was when i went for check-up 2 saturdays ago, the doctor cannot hear my baby's heartbeat. i was asked to wait for her at her other clinic for ultrasound after lunch to better check my baby's condition. i rushed to medical city's chapel & cried my heart out to God, how come we cannot hear my baby's heartbeat when it was beating so fast the last time we checked, was it because of the lack of nutrients due to my constant vomitting & not having the appetite to eat? naturally, i blamed myself. after going to the chapel, i went to my ate joan's clinic (in med city also). good thing she was busy with her patients so she did not see that i was crying. i waited there until kokoy arrived to fetch me up. we went to my doctor's other clinic at arount 1:00 p.m., my doctor arrived at around 2:30 p.m., that waiting period must have been the longest one & a half hour of my life. i went for another ultrasound & there the doctor saw my baby's heartbeat, i was so relieved!

DUH

rudeness, rudeness, rudeness...some people are just not considerate enough, lacks the understanding, has "come on you have to take care of my business" attitude or just plain hypocrites who roam around telling people how you suck (from their point of view). well, what can i say... take a look at why it happened & don't blame other people for your carelessness & irresponsibility...i want to breathe!

Belated Happy Valentines Day to All!

Valentine's Day has already passed. What did I do yesterday for that so-called V-day? I did not report for work due to lower abdominal pain which I felt starting Monday evening then went on until Tuesday. I was up as early as 4:00 am yesterday (yup, v-day) due to the pain i felt so i just decided to stay at home because it might get worse. It is safer for my condition to rest when faced with these things. So I just watched t.v & read the whole day. The only time I got out from bed was when i need to eat & use the c.r. I was just lying in bed the whole day which really helped 'coz late in the afternoon, the pain subsided. When Kokoy went home, he asked if I can go out just to eat for awhile. Since I'm in not in the mood to cook, I said yes. We just had dinner in Chillis Greenhills then went home immediately since I want to rest early to get better. So that's how we celebrated V-day, he gave me a rose by the way:)

When I was watching Sis, one of the things they featured was that of a woman who was hospitalized in V-day and since his husband is abroad, he just sent her flowers & a card. I was just reminded when I spent V-day in the hospital when I was seven years old (I was there fofr 2 months!). My father sent me roses & a card (saying it came from my secret admire, duh), that was the first time I received roses on a V-day. I just want to share it for I was really lonely at that time (for a child to spend 2 months in the hospital was traumatic) and it some how cheered me up.